


secrets that nobody knows

by NotANerd133



Category: DC Cinematic Universe, Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Drama, F/M, Floyd centric, Harley and Floyd have chemistry, Harley is with Joker but by the end not so much, Hidden Depths, I'm still down for her and Joker though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 15:30:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7763251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotANerd133/pseuds/NotANerd133
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Floyd can tell the difference between her tears and the rain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	secrets that nobody knows

**Author's Note:**

> A/N - Some scenes I kept the same and some I didn't, so the story is kinda canon compliant with a few minor exceptions.

**_secrets that nobody knows_ **

_. _

_. _

_. _

Soldiers trotted and talked in hushed tones, yet loud enough to cause commotion. It reminded him of an overcrowded cafeteria. He could put an extra amount of effort to suit up if he wanted to and, believe him, he had no qualms about fighting. Though Amanda's motives were...questionable, he'd do what he had been asked. 

He brushed his fingertips gently over the white fabric in earnest. What would he be if he put this mask on again? Changes are for the better and he's changed. Hasn't he? 

Harley broke him out his daze. Cocking her hip to the side, her expression that of a child, she asked, “What's the matter?” 

Her accent was straight up Brooklyn. No doubt about it. Her background was a mystery around here and all anybody knew was what she was before Joker corrupted her: a bright young woman on her way to success. Now, she was the person people frowned and spat on. He briefly wonders if her entire persona is a façade. Nobody can possibly be that deranged. 

He doesn't mean to keep his gaze lingered, but the question is sharp as a blade and she's beautiful yet deadly. He can't say why he's not a hundred percent down with following them and Rick to Midway City. Shooting is his game and he comes out on top each and every time. He should be elated, excited even. But the feelings that come with such a luxury aren't home in his heart. 

Guns are weapons of destruction. What does it say about him when he picks it up and pulls the trigger?

He saw her lips move as if to speak and he rushed a reply so personal he shocked himself. “When I put on this mask, people die.” It's what a corpse would say. The look in his eyes must be dead. 

In fact, death must've been projected on his face because Harley went from cute to serious then back again. “Wear it,” she said. 

He raised a brow. 

“People are gonna die, so wear it.” 

For a second, he was convinced she was capable of being normal. For a second. A second because Harley swung her pink and blue faded hammer a few times and gave him the freaky stare.

_ Yeah _ , he thinks,  _ she's batshit crazy _ .

***

He's divorced. 

They gotta know. Or, if they don't, they have to had heard the stories and the rumors and the other shit. Guards aren't exactly known for keeping secrets. Doesn't matter who's business it is. Amanda is given the same treatment as well.

But this? Someone wouldn't just hand her a phone. He wasn't allowed contact with his daughter. What made them think she was the perfect candidate for _making_ _fucking_ _phone calls?_

He shouldn't be surprised she's abandoning everyone for  _ him _ . In short, he should have seen it coming. Together, they're the power couple of Gotham. Nothing can stop those two. Once Joker gets an idea, Harley will follow his lead. Though from the message he snuck a glance at a moment ago, Joker is clearly calling the shots and she's just a damsel in distress waiting to be rescued. He admits this whole plan is stupid, but it's worth his time when Harley’s here.  _ If  _ she leaves, no,  _ when _ she leaves, he's gonna be pissed. 

He can't sit by her and fake happiness. He does, however, sit by her, concerned. Friends can be concerned for one another and worry as much as they please. And while his mind wanders off to memories he doesn't want to remember nor think of, he feels his heart race, finding Harley shushing him terribly funny. He hides a smile.

It's their big secret.

***

Midway City was more deserted than he suspected. Seems the soldiers originally sent to take down whatever the fuck he spotted out the helicopter window caused immense damage. Suddenly, he thinks Amanda intended to get them killed. None of them were in her good graces except Rick Flag. Rick who, on several occasions, has threatened their lives. 

Fuck him for having a fucking conscience. 

Creatures—ha, ha,  _ no _ —humans  _ turned _ creatures charged in their direction. He finds it pretty un- _ fucking _ -believable that Amanda's so called professional team couldn't handle those, those  _ things _ ,  __ properly. Had he not taken the first hit, Rick possibly would have died.  

He's lucky his focus was set primarily on the creatures a few feet from them and not on the way Harley was breathing against his cheek. She stuck close by him, her lips near the shell of his ear, demanding him to shoot. The gleam in her eyes turned him on and the thought of pressing the trigger was very tempting, but he refused. He needed to know what it was he had to kill.

At some point during the fight, Rick had (once again) got himself captured. Apparently, Floyd was the only one that cared. He practically had to persuade Harley to help him out. 

_ “Good riddance!” _

_ “If he dies, we die!” _

_ Harley glanced at Rick, then back at Floyd. Conflict showed on her face. She had two choices: help him save Rick or stay behind with everyone else and continue the fight. Sighing, she said, “Fine.” _

While he was burning holes into Rick’s head, Harley appeared beside him. He guessed the grin she wore had to do with the phone in her hand. She was happy. Joker texted her again. Floyd asked what he said and she evaded the question, touching his arm affectionately, walking ahead to catch up with everybody else.

The Joker was one lucky guy.

*******

Following the team up the stairs, Floyd noticed she hadn't been behind him or beside him. He paused on the banister, staring down below to see her watching what lied at the bottom of the staircase.

Acid tanks.

Racing down the steps, he came to a standstill at the top of the stairs. Harley was dazed beyond belief. She clutched onto the railing and leaned forward so far he thought she would fall over. Careful, he pressed himself closer to the wall, sliding past her and landing two steps from where she stood. Hesitantly, he reached out for her, hoping to pull her away and take her back to the group. 

The moment she felt his touch, she snapped to his attention. Not without grabbing her white studded gun, of course. She was startled, near tears, lip quivering. She couldn't even hold the gun without shaking. 

He put up his hands in defense. Calm, he said, “It's okay.”

Floyd doesn't know how long they stood there like that, with her gun pointed in his direction and his heart thumping loudly in his ears. A moment later, she places the gun inside her jacket. Before she has the chance to run, Floyd grabs her wrist and pulls her in for a one armed hug. She doesn't fight him, but rather relaxes into him.

Her laugh is bitter as she says, “This is nice.”

He stroked her hair. “I bet it is.”

Floyd feels her frown into her shoulder. “Hubby used to hold me every night. He kinda stopped. I wonder why. Am I really a vex?”

He knew who she was referring to. Instantly, he held her tighter. She squealed. Letting her go, he apologized. 

“Sorry.”

Harley's face scrunched in confusion when he created distance between them, one foot on the ground and the other on a step. About to give her an order ( _ Let's go, they need us _ ) she asked, “Have you ever been in love?”

Floyd had to get out of here. Now, it's personal. She's vulnerable and believes he is too. He's not. He can't be. He's doesn't have time for feelings. And that's exactly what he tells her.

“With the life I lead, love isn't in the cards. You don't kill for a living and expect to go home and be loved.”

Floyd left her standing there. He continued climbing the stairs and heard her mutter:

“If I was yours, I'd love you.”

***

Amanda Waller was vicious. Asking him to pull the trigger on  _ Harley _ ?  He's done a lot of dirty killings, but those were only men. He wish he could take back what he said to Harley earlier. She's a woman and he  _ does  _ care if he shoots her. But Amanda's words are clear as day. He shoots, he sees his daughter. He declines, he gets a longer prison sentence. He needed to make a decision and he had to make it  _ now _ .

Hitching the rifle on the building's ledge, he steadied himself and aimed. Would he ruin his chances of visiting his daughter in favor of saving Harley's life? 

He pulled the trigger.

He missed.

Drawing the rifle off the ledge, he faced Amanda and said, “Oops.”

It was the right choice. It had to be.

Then he heard it. They all did. An incoming status update on Joker’s helicopter. Him and Harley were gonna die regardless what Floyd did. 

Silence came and went and Amanda got what she wanted. 

_ “You couldn't save her.” _

She wasn't his girl anyway.

***

Floyd can tell the difference between her tears and the rain.

_ Hi _ , she says.  _ I missed you guys _ , she says.  _ He's dead _ , they don't say because they both knew. But it's a different story than what he originally thought, however, and him and her fall behind the rest of the group.

Her makeup smeared, eye shadow fading across her cheeks and lipstick smudged, she told him, “He tried to kill me. I thought he  _ died  _ and he tries to kill me.” She clenched and unclenched the bat she had in her grasp. “Turns out he doesn’t want me anymore. We fought and he kept me alive. Something about him needing me for later. He left me and if I didn’t do anything—”

“He would have left you for dead.”

Harley made a face. “Aren’t you chipper.”

Floyd noticed her gold  _ PUDDIN’  _ chain wasn’t around her neck. He gestured to it. 

“Oh, that silly old thing?” she shrugged, meeting his gaze. “I threw it out. No use in wearing the shit anymore, I guess.”

He nodded, ignoring how bothered she seemed by the necklace and her gently rubbing her neck like the gold was embedded on her skin. Hating the quiet, he said, “I’ll buy you a new one when this is all over. You still want gold or are you digging silver?”

She lit up at his offer, her smile stretching for miles. “Gold please!”

“Gotcha.”

“Wait,” she said. Tilting her head at Floyd, she asked, “How can you buy me anything if we’re criminals?”

“We’re bad guys, remember? We know what to do.”

Harley smiled. So did he. There moment was cut short when they passed a familiar helicopter. She stood outside while he went in.

A container labeled  _ Top Secret  _ caught his attention. He took off the lid. Hidden were tons of letters, all of them from his daughter.  Still crouched on the floor, he felt Harley’s presence before he saw her.  Without speaking, she lowered herself next to him and gave him a hug.


End file.
